It's the Little Things...

Guess who put her car tag on all by herself? Yep....that's right...this girl! I realized today was the last day of June and I still haven't put my new car tag on....I have had it for weeks, but just been forgetting to get hubs to put it on...so I attempted it today. And I did it! It's the little things! :)

I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes at the fact that I have never put a car tag on, but I haven't. My dad or hubs always did it for me. So I feel pretty accomplished! It was super easy (just 2 screws) and now I don't have to ask my dad to help since hubs isn't gonna be home til Thursday!

I am learning more and more how independent I am! That is a god thing I guess! I have always relied on men to do the "manly" things, like putting the trash out. But since hubs has been gone most days for the past 7 weeks, then it have had to learn to do certain things. Nothing huge, but things I am not used to doing. And I will admit, I forget to put the trash out sometimes on Wednesdays! Ooops! At least we have a huge trash can and not a whole lot of trash!

Normal

People take "normal" for granted all the time. I know I did, before our "normal" became a new "normal" that I despise! That new normal being the police academy. Every Sunday as hubs is getting prepared to leave for the week, I cannot help but think over and over, "I would appreciate normal so much more if we can just have it back." This week is difficult, because we are leaving for the beach when hubs gets done Thursday evening. Sounds great right? Well...it will be great, for the first few days. We are leaving Thursday and hubs will have to come back home Sunday....for another week at the academy. I, on the other hand, will be staying at the beach until the next Saturday. I know what most people are probably thinking...oh great, she's complaining about being at the beach for 9 whole days. But...this will be the first year in MANY that He has not gone with me. He will be there for a few days...yes. But not the whole time. It just kind of makes me sad! While I am super excited and ready for a vacation, I still wish hubs could be there for the whole thing! Remember my old normal? I guess I have a problem with change! Change is hard, change is difficult, change is NOT FUN sometimes. But change can also be a good thing. This change, however, has been extremely difficult for us. But let's look at the positives:

1. Hubs has a job! With benefits! And extremely good benefits at that!
2. This experience has brought us closer together! We appreciate being around each other so much more, since we don't see each other but 3 days a week!
3. We have learned to be better communicators.
4. I have gotten over my separation anxiety (ha!) and I appreciate having "me" time now!
5. THE UNIFORM! Who doesn't love a man in uniform??

I absolutely LOVE being married to a deputy sheriff. I know this is just a season in our lives that we will look back on and wish we were there again...and this is a season that is almost over! 24 (classroom) days left! We started out with 55 days...and now we are at 24! These next 6 weeks will fly by and I will be the most proud wife at the whole graduation! I will have the biggest smile on my face and may even cry a little bit! (I'm super emotional by the way..so I may cry a lot.) looking forward to the August 7th when my hubs becomes a certified law enforcement officer. And this journey to be OVER! We can start a new (much better) normal!

Halfway Through

We are halfway through with the academy!! Thank you Jesus! This has been the hardest thing I think I we have ever had to go through!  Being together for 8 years, seeing each other almost every day for the majority of those 8 years, married for 3 months, then apart for 13 weeks could drive anyone crazy!  (Well not really 13 full weeks, but 4 days out of each week). I made a calendar the day Kip left so I could mark off each day to see how close we were to the finish! Today, I realized that June is ALMOST over…a full month down (a month and half really)! It really seems like yesterday we were preparing for him to head off for the first 10 days, and now we are halfway finished! Oh so thankful that time has flown by!

One of the hardest struggles for me is when he leaves on Sunday. Our weekend seems to FLY by, and I hate saying goodbye to him! I still cry a little when he leaves, but get ok after a few minutes!  I try to have something planned to do once he leaves, whether it is going to the grocery store, walking with my parents, cleaning up around the house, or watching one of my shows that he doesn’t like to watch (19 Kids and Counting or the Bachelorette--he really likes to watch them, but he pretends he doesn't).  I try to stay busy during the week as well..makes the week go by so much quicker! 

I think one of the hardest struggles for Kip is leaving as well….because I am usually upset. He tells me he hates to see me upset when he leaves!  I always talk about how hard it is for me with him being gone and everything, but I cannot imagine if I was in his shoes.  He has to be up before the sun is even up for PT (running, pushups, situps, calisthenics, etc.), then he has class ALL day from about 8am – 6pm, then supper until about 7pm.  They only have a few hours at night to get things together for the next day, study, talk to family, and have a little bit of free time. They cannot go anywhere….just stuck in their rooms until the next morning. At least I still have my somewhat “normal” life...I can go where I want, do what I want, eat what I want, etc.

Speaking of class and studying, last weekend, Kip was really stressing about his legals exam. It was a 100 question test that he HAD to pass with at least a 70% or he failed out of the academy.  We studied all weekend, and I even learned the difference between robbery, burglary, and theft and all the degrees (1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd).  His test was last Tuesday morning…and he passed…with a 93! So happy for him..I KNEW he could do it!!! Now all he has left to do is pass firearms (piece of cake for him!) and driving. The hardest and most stressful part of this long 13 weeks is over!

We were going to celebrate with a big ole steak from Longhorn this weekend, but instead…he bought a new gun. And bought me one too. So our celebrating was at the shooting range!

I am so thankful for my hardworking husband…just ready for this whole academy thing to end and we can get back to some kind of "normal".

5 Reasons

5 Reasons I Love Being Married to a Deputy

1. The uniform!! Love seeing him in his uniform!!

2. The feeling of safe-ness (is that a word??) I always feel safe when he is around... No matter where we are!

3. The fact that he knows other police officers...just in case I ever need out of a ticket or anything else! ;) *insert story here* The other day, I was heading to see kip in Anniston when he calls and says that our burglary alarm was going off. So I call my dad to come meet the officers at our house. The officers get here and realize its a deputy's house...so maybe they will keep an eye on the house while Kip is gone!

4. He taught me how to safely use a gun! (and bought me one!!!)

5. The fact that he risks his life to keep our community safe just makes my heart smile!

10 Things

10 things that I have learned about being a police wife.

1. Everywhere you go, your husband will see someone he knows. And when you ask who that is, he will say "oh that's so and so...he works for -insert city name here-".

2. Guns, ammo, or tactical gear will ALWAYS be an acceptable gift.

3. No matter where we go, he will always have his pistol on his hip.

4. I always ask if he has his pistol before we leave the house...I should know that answer, but I always make sure!

5. If we ever go out anywhere, we always end up at the gun counter of Bass pro shop, Gander Mountain, or Academy.

6. I can spot a police car from miles away....especially unmarked cars.

7. I am more aware of my surroundings every where I go....especially if I am alone.

8. There is no such thing as normal. We will never have a "normal" life. I will go to parties, family events, church events, holidays, etc. alone sometimes, because police work is 24/7. I will sleep alone at night when he is working. I will make dinner and eat alone, because he had to go on a call at 5:55pm...5 minutes before his shift is over. He will work on his off day, because the department is short handed. There is no normal in police work. You just have to learn to go with the flow.

9. I have learned how to polish boots and make razor sharp creases on Kip's uniform.

10. And most importantly, I have learned that I have never been more proud to see him dressed to a T in his uniform.....or see his car pulling into the driveway after a day at work (or a week at the academy). It makes my heart skip a beat and makes me so proud to be able to call him mine!

Just Some Thoughts

Sundays are the hardest days...it is the day Kip leaves for a week. Every Sunday I have to say goodbye to him for 4 days. It may not seem like a big deal to others, but if you had to say goodbye to your husband every Sunday for the next 13 weeks...you would understand.

I cannot even begin to express how ready I am for "normal" again. I miss our Sundays of going to church, spending time with our families, and then cuddling up on the couch for an afternoon of relaxation before we head into the next work week. Our Sundays now consist of going to church, rushing to eat with our families, and coming home to finish up laundry, pack, gas up the patrol car, make a trip to Walmart for waters, Gatorade, crackers, and snacks for Kip to take with him. By the time we finish all of this, we may have about 30 mins to sit and relax until he has to leave.

In the life of a police family, normal is not a Monday-Friday 8am-5pm job with weekends off. You have to find your "normal" between changing schedules, overtime, etc. Sometimes, your weekend is in the middle of the week....This is one reason I would absolutely love to have a "work from home" job...so I can be home when Kip has off days. While I am sure that will NEVER happen, I can dream right? Hopefully, I can eventually get a job at a school, where I can have summers off...and if Kip gets an SRO position, he will have summers off too! The perfect world, right?

5 Weeks In

We are now 5 weeks into this whole academy journey. Not gonna lie...it has been super difficult..for both of us! Not sure how other police academies work, but this one is a full time resident academy...on a military base! Kip leaves on Sunday nights and doesn't come home until Thursday nights. He is only home on Friday and Saturday and part of the day Sunday. For 13 weeks. I absolutely hate it. Seriously...HATE. But I have learned a whole lot in these past 5 weeks that I wanna share with the other LEO wives out there who might be new to this as well!

1. Keep Yourself Busy! Unless you are someone who enjoys being alone, I would suggest you make lots of plans! I work a full time job, so Monday - Friday I stay pretty busy...but that first 2 weeks that Kip was gone I was a mess (He was gone for 10 days straight - no coming home at all!). I thought I could handle being by myself...working around the house...playing with the dog...just doing whatever I wanted to do. Nope. Did not enjoy one bit of it. The Monday he left, I cried all night long. I couldn't do anything without thinking of him being gone. That Tuesday, my best friend invited me to come to one of her student's baseball game. I went with her and her 2 kids and enjoyed myself! Wednesday night I had a meeting at work, but then Thursday..oh Thursday. It was a ROUGH day! I was just so depressed and sad all day! I guess I was just really missing my hubby. Then the weekend FLEW by! Helped my mom out at my brother's basketball tournament Friday and Saturday.  Sunday, Mom helped me clean my house, then we spent the evening at my aunt's house. The next few days flew by & then - Wednesday came and KIP WAS HOME!! Now, every Monday night - Wednesday night I try to stay busy - whether it is going to my best friend's house and spending time with her and her kids, hanging out with my parents and my family, or just doing something on my own (lots of shopping and going to the tanning bed...maybe cleaning a little....and watching 19 kids and Counting - obsessed with that show!). It gets easier each day! Only 8 more weeks!

2. Communicate!! It was hard on me at first, because if something happened that I wanted to tell Kip about that couldn't wait until we got home in the evenings, I would usually just call of text him! If I just wanted to talk to him or he wanted to talk to me, we could just call each other. Not the case with the academy! He cannot have his cell phone with him at all during the day. It has to stay in his room, so I only get to talk to him for about 30 seconds each morning (just to say hey and have a good day) and then at night once he gets back to his room (around 7:30 or 8pm).  I will text him occasionally during the day to tell him something if I need to, but I know I wont get a response back.  So at night, we do most of our communicating. It is hard to do that sometimes, because he has a roommate at the academy, so there isn't any alone time.  We talk mostly through text messages, because it is easier that way. But just remember to communicate with each other while he is gone!

3. Encourage Him! Always be encouraging when you talk to him. Send him little messages of encouragement throughout the day. I try to be so positive when I talk to Kip, because what is doing is HARD work. He is stressed, hates leaving home, hates being away from me, having to deal with people yelling at him, doing tons of push-ups, pulling 13-14 hour days, getting very little sleep, constantly having to study on his "off" time. I try to be positive and encouraging...and I tried to not let me see my upset (that first 10 days he was gone) because he says it makes it even harder on him knowing I am upset. Don't complain about every little thing that happened to you during the day when you talk to him at night....talk about positive things. Let him know how proud you are of him and how you have faith in him that he can get through this! It will help both of you!

4. Make Time for Each Other When He is Home! When Kip comes home each week, he unloads all his stuff and gives me a PILE of dirty clothes that I have to wash within 2 days, so he can pack up again.  I spend a lot of time washing clothes on the weekends...but at least he is HOME. He had a short weekend a few weeks ago. He got Memorial Day off, so he had to make that day up on Friday of that week. He didn't get home until late Friday evening and as soon as he got home, we headed to a friend's house. We spent the majority of the night there, came home, and he we went straight to sleep.  The next day, his parents came and brought a car load of his stuff from their house, so we unloaded all that, got showers really quick and headed to Birmingham to watch my brother play basketball and eat supper with my parents. Headed back home and then some friends came to our house that night. Then Kip left Sunday for the week....and I was awful!! So...make time for each other. I am not saying not to hang out with friends and family, but make sure you have that one on one time with each other at some point while he is home.

5. PRAY!! This is a BIG one....pray for him, pray for you, pray for the instructors teaching the classes, pray for all of his classmates, and pray for his department.  Right now, Kip doesn't really know what he will be doing once he graduates from the academy.  He may work on the road, work as an SRO, work in the office....we really don't know, so I am praying that God will put him where he wants him to be...whether it be a school, on the road (hopefully not!), in the office, wherever!

It is not easy being a part of the LEO family...but that is what it is - A FAMILY! Very few people know what it is like to send your husband off to work, unsure of whether he will return to you after his shift.  LEO's encounter things that most of us could not even imagine seeing and encountering, so ALWAYS pray for your LEO, his/her partner and department. Hug him/her a little tighter and kiss him/her a little longer each time he/she leaves.  You never know when it may be your last hug, kiss, "see ya later", or "I love you!".

The Deputy Wife Life

I started a blog back in college for extra credit in one of my business classes, and I kept it up through the whole wedding process just for me to look back on.  I wanted to start a new one for this new journey we are in right now.

Kip and I have been married for 4 months, but we have been together for over 8 years. He began his LEO journey 3 years ago in 2011 when he became a member of the sheriff's office reserve unit. It was strictly a "volunteer" job, which means he did not get paid for working. I struggled with that a little bit at first, but realized that it took someone very special to work a job like that and not get paid for it. He mainly worked security for special events in the county and occasionally worked with a friend of his who is an investigator at the county. He was working his actual money making job as a pharmacy tech at the time. He moved on to one of the city police departments working in the records department just to get him by until he graduated college. This job was considered a seasonal position, so he had to take 1 whole month off without pay each year. It worked out good for us that he took his month in February, so he was able to be off the few days before our wedding and then for our honeymoon. He was also able to be home and help train our new puppy during that month, too. But...we knew we would not be able to afford for him to continue to work there with no benefits. (I do not have benefits at my job either!) He had applied for a job at the county as an SRO (school resource officer) but could not take the job, because he would have to go to the academy in January - April which would interfere with our wedding (and mostly honeymoon) plans.

The week of our wedding, Kip got a text from someone at the SO that another SRO position would be open soon and that they wanted Kip to come back and talk to them again. He went 2 days before our wedding for an "interview". They said they had a few more people to interview and it may be next week before Kip heard anything. He told them he would be on his honeymoon, but if they called to leave a message and he would call them back. (We had a no cell phone policy on our honeymoon-haha!) I told him I would let that one slide if he needed to call them! Honeymoon week came and went with no phone call. The next week came and went...no phone call either....until that Friday night (Feb 21). Chief text Kip and asked if he would come in Monday to talk. We spent all weekend wondering what would happen in that meeting Monday.

Kip went in Monday morning at 9am. He showed up at my office about 9:30....and said he got the job! He would be training in the office until he went to the academy in May. He worked a Monday-Friday 8:00-4:00 shift. It wasn't until late April that he started working a little bit different shift. A tornado came through a small portion of our county, so Kip worked in that area everyday. At first he was working 8:00-4:00, but then it changed at 6:00am-2:00pm. Until he was put on an actual shift to ride his last 2 days before the academy....he worked 2 days 6am-6pm. That was it for working with the SO until August. He headed to the academy May 12th...one of he he hardest days of my life!

Until Next Time,