Ferguson Tragedy

Last night, hubs and I were glued to the tv watching the announcement of whether Officer Wilson would be indicted in the shooting death of Mike Brown. The verdict came back that he would not be indicted on any count of murder, manslaughter, etc. Riots broke out in the streets of Ferguson. People were destroying cars and buildings, breaking out windows and setting them on fire. My heart sank watching it all unfold. I am a bit partial to law enforcement since my husband is a LEO, but it is because I see what these people and their families go through day after day. My husband, like all law enforcement officers, has been TRAINED to take whatever precautions needed to come home safe after each shift. While I hope he NEVER has to take someone else's life, if it means he comes home safe to me, then so be it. If someone is threatening him or his fellow officers, whether armed or not, I hope they all take every precaution they can so they all come home safe. I have always said that people who HATE law enforcement are those who break the law, so if you don't want a run in with the law, then obey the laws. I honestly do not think this is a race issue of a white male "profiling" a black male. What if Mike Brown had been a white male?? Would all this be going on right now?? No...not at all. Nobody would think twice about it. This is more of a lack of respect for authority. I saw this last night on one of the social media outlets after the verdict was read: "Not all cops are bad, not all blacks are criminals, and not all whites are racist." This is probably the most true statement I have ever heard. I have many black friends, who are far from a criminal!! I know many cops who are not even close to being a bad cop! And I know VERY few, if any, white people that are racist. I honestly do not think Officer Wilson was profiling. He was doing his job. He asked Mike Brown to get out of the street and onto the sidewalk. If Mike Brown had done what he was asked, he would still be alive, and Officer Wilson would still be patrolling the streets of Ferguson. But no. Mike Brown decided to NOT have any respect for authority. That is the issue here, not racism. 

The bible states that EVERYONE should respect authority....whether it's the police, mayor, governor, and yes-even the president. Romans 13:1-4 states that: 

"Everyone must submit to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except from God,and those that exist are instituted by God." This means that God is the overall authority. He has appointed certain people (and by people here, I am talking about a position, not the actual person) such as, the president, governors, mayors, and yes, even police officers, to help govern his land.  Therefore, we should submit to these governing authorities, even if we do not agree with what they are doing.

"So then, the one who resists the authority is opposing God’s command, and those who oppose it will bring judgment on themselves."

This verse is talking about law breakers, criminals, etc. When you do break the law, you bring judgement upon yourself. Let's say you go out for a night of drinking, drink a little too much, then get in your car and drive off. You get pulled over by a police officer, who can smell the alcohol on your breath. He makes you do a series of field sobriety tests and you fail every one of them. He then takes you to jail on a DUI charge. Who's fault is that? Is it the officer's fault for pulling you over? NOT AT ALL! It is your fault for driving a car after drinking too much. Therefore, you have brought that judgement on yourself....because YOU broke the law. No one else did it for you. 

"For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have its approval."

This verse is talking about those who obey the laws. Like I have said over and over, obey the laws and you won't have any issues with the law. Do you want to live in fear of LEOs? I know I don't! If you don't want to live in fear, obey the laws. It's that simple. 

"For government is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, because it does not carry the sword for no reason. For government is God’s servant, an avenger that brings wrath on the one who does wrong."

This verse is talking about the police officers. They are here to protect us, not to cause us fear. However, if you break the laws, then you should fear the law. I believe that the "sword" being mentioned here, refers to the police officer's weapon. He does not carry the weapon for no reason. He carries the weapon to protect himself and his fellow officers. Police officers are God's servants. They are put on this earth to enforce the laws. They are here to bring wrath on those who break the laws. The word wrath in the bible means "the emotional response to perceived wrong and injustice; vengeance or punishment". So basically, this is saying that if you break the law, you will be punished.

It doesn't get much more clear than that does it? Respect authority and they will respect you! Don't break the laws of the land, or you will be punished. 

I think this passage of scripture is perfect for the Ferguson tragedy. 

My husband shared something on Facebook this morning that I think EVERYONE should read. I do not know who the author is, but it did not write this. I just want to share.

"For those of you that want to judge and condemn our nation’s law-enforcement officers, I invite you to put on a bulletproof vest and strap a gun to your side each day. There are many law-enforcement agencies that will hire you to protect the rights of those that hate you for a starting salary of $12 per hour. If you get lucky, after 14 years of being a teacher, a negotiator, a counselor, an enforcer of our nation’s laws, a medic, a first responder, a peacekeeper, and a jack-of-all-trades, maybe you can break the $15 per hour mark. Don’t be fooled. The bulletproof vest that you will wear is meant to keep you alive because eventually, someone will try to kill you. The gun that you will carry will be a constant reminder to you that someone will try to harm you, and you might have to take the life of another individual in order to live through your shift. It’s okay though. No matter what kind of circumstance you find yourself in, you will have an ample amount of time (less than a second) to make the right decision, a decision that will determine if you live or die. I invite you. You will stand guard, protecting those that curse you when they don’t need you, and they will curse you when they are in need because you did not get to them fast enough. I invite you. You will work two and three jobs to support your family, never having the opportunity to enjoy your days off because you will be working or sitting in a courtroom. I invite you. You will miss birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, and holiday events because it is your job to watch over those that are oblivious to what really happens in the world. I invite you. The job will take everything from you, causing you to never look at the world in the same light again. I invite you. After all, even if you are killed, you knew what you were signing up for. Right? Once again, I invite you to take that risk. Surely, you can do better than those that currently stand ready in the night to keep others safe. I invite you. You know so much, and you have seen everything there is to know on television. You’ve watched CSI, NYPD, Cops, and other various programs, and you know how things should be done. I invite you. Why can’t those that serve get it right? It’s not that hard, and it only takes a little bit of common sense. Right? I invite you. I invite you to do better. I invite you to stare into the face of pure evil, witnessing things that have the ability to make you question your sanity. I invite you to become part of the small percentage of Americans that serve their communities even though they are disgraced and neglected by the majority of those that they serve. I invite you to stare into the eyes of death, only later to be mystified as to how you survived. I invite you to experience the feeling of calm as it turns into pure panic. I invite you to give everything while receiving nothing but your incredibly lavish salary in return. And worst of all, I invite you to make the decision as to whether or not you will have to take the life of another human being in order to survive. Until you have experienced a life of service, until you willingly place yourself in life or death situations, until you are cursed and hated, until you have experienced the feeling of not knowing if you will ever see your family again, until you become part of the small percentage of people that run towards gunfire instead of away from it, until you see the unimaginable horrors of the world that even Hollywood is unable to portray, until you are faced with the decision of whether or not you should take the life of another individual, and until you patrol the streets of your community, seeking out danger, don’t be a judge. Don’t judge those that serve until you understand what they are up against on a daily basis. Only with an understanding of all of the facts can you make an accurate assumption of what should have or could have been done. Do you truly want to understand? Do you truly want to be able to judge them? I invite you to strap on a bulletproof vest and a gun. I invite you to be the coward that hides behind his or her badge."

Single Digits

We are down to single digits in the academy journey! 9 classroom days left until Graduation!! And 2 weeks from today, hubs will come home to me FOR GOOD! Oh I am so extremely excited!!

Last night, hubs and his group got liberty, meaning they had "free time" for about 2 hours. So what do I do? Hop in the car and drive about 45 minutes to meet hubs and his roommate to eat at Olive Garden!  Hub's roommate had his girlfriend come down to eat as well, so I got to meet both of them! I could definitely see us hanging out with them after the academy is over.

August 7th cannot get here SOON enough! Seriously...I probably will not be able to sleep that whole week! I am so proud of my hubs and how hard he has worked!  He will get a little vacation when he gets out of the academy, because he has to have knee surgery! BOO! But at least I get to spend ALL my time with him for a few days after surgery! It is really just a minor surgery, so he should only be down for about 5 days. He is gonna be a big baby for sure those 5 days! But it's ok...I'll be the best nurse ever! :)

An Officer's Life

You wonder why he pulled you over and gave you a ticket for speeding,
He just worked an accident where people died because they were going too fast.
 
You wonder why that cop was so mean,
He just got done working a case where a drunk driver killed a kid.

You work for 8 hours,
He works for up to 18 hours.

You drink hot coffee to stay awake,
The cold rain in the middle of the night keeps him awake.

You complain of a "headache," and call in sick,
He goes into work still hurt and sore from the guy he had to fight the night before.

You drink your coffee on your way to the mall,
He spills his as he runs Code 3 to a traffic crash with kids trapped inside.

You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket before you leave the house,
He makes sure his gun is fully loaded and his vest is tight.

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you,
He watches his buddy get shot at and wounded in front of him.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls,
He walks down the highway looking for body parts from a traffic crash.

You complain about how hot it is,
He wears fifty pounds of gear and a bullet proof vest in July and still runs around chasing crack heads.

You go out to lunch and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong,
He runs out before he gets his food to respond to an armed robbery.

You get out of bed in the morning and take your time getting ready,
He gets called out of bed at 2 am after working 12 hours and has to be into work A.S.A.P. for a homicide.

You go to the mall and get your hair done,
He holds the hair of some college girl while shes puking in the back of his patrol car.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over,
His shift ended 4 hours ago and there's no end in sight.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight,
He can't make any plans because on his off days he still gets called back into work.

You yell and scream at the squad car that just passed you because they slowed you down,
He's in the driver seat of the squad car, going to cut somebody out of their car.

You roll your eyes when a baby cries in public,
He picks up a dead child in his arms and wishes that it was crying.

You criticize your police department and say they're never there quick enough,
He blasts the siren while the person in front of him refuses to move while talking on their cell phone.

You hear the jokes about fallen officers and say they should have known better or deserve it,
He is a hero and runs into situations when everyone else is running away in order to make sure no one else gets hurt and risks his life doing it.

You are asked to go to the store by your parents, you don't,
He would take a bullet for his buddy without question.

You sit there and judge him, saying that it's a waste of money to have them around,
Yet as soon as you need help he is there.

(Author Unknown)

"To My Future Daughter-in-Law" from The Domestic Four.

NOTE: This is not mine. I just want to have it if God does bless us with a son one day, and I want it to be a reminder for me RIGHT NOW as I am just now entering the life of a wife and daughter-in-law.

Click HERE for the link to the actual blog.

Dear Future Daughter-in-Law,

As I write this letter your future husband is all sprawled out on the couch watching his older sister torment the dogs. It is so strange to refer to him as “your husband” considering he is so small and still so innocent. But he is yours and you are his. Right now God knows exactly where you are. Maybe you are being held by your mother as she tries to soothe you to sleep. Perhaps you too are laying on the couch watching an older sibling torment your dogs. Or maybe my son will like older women and you are five years old and enjoying a Saturday afternoon at the park. I can’t picture you. I have no idea what type of girl you are or will be, but God has that planned out. As your future father-in-law frequently tells me, “That’s above my paygrade.” I don’t try to figure out the Divine … you know … that whole human, limited understanding factor really fudges things up.

I am sure you will hear this from me many times, but your husband and I didn’t have the easiest start. Five hours of insanely quick and painful labor started us off. Followed by roughly two months of him screaming bloody murder. Everyone had suggestions to fix him. Try this or try that they would say. Yet none of them felt the terrible, awful feeling of defeat that one night I laid him on his father’s chest and then went into our bathroom and sobbed on the floor for 30 minutes. I cried, and cried, and cried harder. The only thing I knew to do was to pray and ask God to show me what to do. Or to give me some form of strength that I didn’t have within me. Time would pass and I would stick to my gut and belief that he would “grow out of it” and he did. He is currently a very fat, very happy 3 month old. A 3 month old, mind you, who sleeps 9 hours straight. No more middle of the night crying fests in the bathroom for me.

The night I had Eli I sat in my delivery room waiting on my body to figure itself out so I could be transported to recovery. I decided it was a perfect time to write in my prayer journal. He nursed, his dad slept, and I sat there and wrote about my day. In that moment I started to pray a prayer that I would find myself praying each day for my son. “Lord, make him a man among men. A leader among leaders. Make him strong, resilient, brave, loving, and humble. Make him a good man in a storm.” Each night after his bath I hold him and we get a few minutes after his sister goes to bed and before his father comes home. I pace with him and make him smile, and then I pray … Lord make him a man among men …

You see, over the past few years there have been a few blogposts I have read written by women who have sons. (Do you even know what those are? Or are they like the 8-tracks of 2038?) They contain lists and “warnings” for future wives or girlfriends of their sons. These lists or letters make my heart hurt in a very, very deep way. They rip open a still healing wound. They bring a flood of pain. You see, I’ve been where you are. I’ve sat in your position wondering how you can make your new family like you a little better, or wondering if they will ever like you at all. I’ve felt the rush of nerves as you prepare to meet your new in laws. I’ve felt every moment you are experiencing. By writing this I want to help calm your nerves. I want you to know that I’m on your side because you are an important piece to the puzzle.

I spent 9 months growing your husband. Waddling around the remaining few weeks of it. People asking me how long I have to go and then making a pity face when they found out I was only 37 weeks. Another few months getting to know him and work through our “issues.” I’ll spend the next 18 years going through the ups and downs. The hills and valleys. I will drive him to practice after practice. I will have to explain to him why he can’t pee anywhere but in a toilet or our backyard. I’ll have to teach him how to actually bathe himself to ensure he is clean and not his version of clean. I will have to punish him when he tortures his sister or does something stupid. I will most likely sit through a million and a half (rough estimate) innings of baseball and quarters of football. When he is ready to talk to me about the girl in high school who hurt his heart I will have to lovingly listen and explain that sometimes we ladies don’t know how hurtful we can be. I will share the story of how I hurt his father a few times in high school, but he was forgiving and stayed my best friend through thick and thin. I will prepare him for you – as best as possible.

I am not disillusioned on what my responsibility as a mother holds. I’m responsible for raising a son to hear of the Gospel in the hopes that he will turn around and teach it to nations. I am responsible for raising a son to not only wipe his own butt, but to do it well! I am responsible for teaching my son to love others and serve others as best as possible. I am responsible for teaching him to respect those around him. I am responsible for raising a son who will grow into a man who will love one woman and raise children to carry on his legacy. I am responsible for laying the foundation. I will hold his past, and with you comes his future.

When you meet me you will clutch to his hand like it is your life support. You will worry and stress about what you wear and how your hair will look. You’ll be afraid to speak up and you will want to crawl in a hole and die before you “meet the in laws.” Can I share a little secret for you?

I’m looking forward to meeting you. And I pray for you even today.

Do you know how important you are to my son? How vital you are to his trajectory in life? I don’t look at you and see a uterus with a head attached and your whole purpose in life is to give me grandbabies. I look at you as the missing piece to the puzzle. You see, I’m going to admit something to you, moms don’t have it all figured out. And we don’t raise complete children. Other people come into our children’s lives and maybe they rough up some edges, or maybe they soften them. Experiences and people change who our children grow to be. Am I afraid you could hurt him? Absolutely. But I am no more afraid than I am of a man coming into my daughter’s life and hurting her. I’ve been on both sides of that coin – as one to hurt and one to be hurt. I can’t buffer them though. I can’t follow them around and protect them from the pain they will experience. Will it kill me to see them suffer? Without a doubt. But I can’t stop it. I can’t intervene where God intends to work. 

I pray that you are a woman among women. I pray that you are classy and humble. I pray that you have a servant’s heart. I pray that you know the Lord deeply and profoundly. I pray that you are a good woman in a storm. I pray that you love yourself and are confident in who you are so that you have a happy, wonderful, and beautiful marriage with my son.

You are a piece in the puzzle. A very important piece.
You will make him a better man.
You will make him stronger.
You will make him feel things he’s never felt before.
You will heighten the urge to protect within him.
You will show him a softer side of Jesus.
You will show him mercy.
You will teach him grace.
You will love him at his worst.
You will love him at his best.
You will give him the gift of children.
You will show him how to be a great father by being a great mother.
You will cook for him.
You will clean for him.
You will move mountains for him.
You will be an immovable rock in a constantly shifting world.
You will be his best friend.
You will hold him.
You will stand behind him.
You will stand beside him.
You will challenge him.
You will push him.
You will pull him.
You will teach him intimacy.
You will love him; unconditionally.

And one day my son will stand next to me as I wait for the Lord to call me home. As I feel the pull and I begin to slip, he will feel pain. He will stand over my hollow shell and know that I am with the Lord, but he will suffer. I am his mother. I am the woman who gave birth to him and taught him how to throw a perfect spiral while his dad was deployed to a warzone. I am the woman who kissed the booboos and made the perfect chocolate chip cookies. (Don’t worry … it’s on the back of the Tollhouse bag.) I showed him how to respect girls and how to tie his shoes. I taught him his ABCs and how to count to 100. I hold everything about his past.

But, my dear girl, you hold his future.

You will experience life together. You will be his partner through it all. You will be his best friend.

Do not fear me. Do not think that I do not cherish you. I love you. I love what you mean to my son. I love that God brought you into our lives to make him a better man. To do the things I never could as a mother.

So today as your husband looks up at me and smiles and coos, I will think of you. I will pray for you. And I will do my best by you to raise a man among men. A leader among leaders. And to help him be strong, resilient, brave, loving, and humble. A good man in a storm.

Love,

Your Future Mother-in-Law

Our Daughter

Hubs and I became parents just a little over a week after we got married. We did not physically have a child, but we got a puppy. And let me tell you.....puppies are a lot like having a child. I don't care what you say about it...they are. We first got her the 2 days after we came back from our honeymoon. She is a German Shepherd...an all black German Shepherd with 1 white spot.

 

As you can see, we had to get a "thin blue line" collar for her! :)

She weighed about 10 pounds when we got her. She was a feisty little thing, but she LOVED us the minute we brought her home! She loved playing outside in the yard with us and sleeping on the couch right next to us! We carried her for her  first appointment at the vet a few weeks later and she weighed 19 pounds! She had 1 floppy ear that came up just a few days after we got her.

We have had quite the experience with her. From peeing all over the place, to only peeing when she is excited or scared, to peeing on my brother, jumping on us and scratching us up so bad, biting at our hands and arms, getting out of the fence, staying at the vet while we were gone on vacation, and getting spayed. 

But...she is getting better! She is more calm now, doesn't pee AS MUCH when she gets excited, only jumps on us when we first come home, only bites when she wants to play. She can sit when told, high five and shake, and she definitely knows what NO means. I love her so much and could not imagine our life without her! When we carried her to get spayed almost 2 weeks ago, she weighed 50 pounds. I love watching her grow and learn new things. 

One of the things that she has started doing is "burying" (or hiding) things around our house. I buy her chew sticks to give her when she comes inside to help her calm down and she will carry it around until she finds somewhere to hide it...usually in the couch. She will "dig" and then push it in between the cushions.  I found a chew stick in my suitcase from the beach too....and I will find them in blankets, pillows, etc. She is so funny to watch though! To watch those wheels turning in her head as she is trying to decide where to hide her chew stick....it is so funny. I love just watching her. 

 Our big girl now!

The difference in a 3 month old pup and a 6 month old pup! :)

We love our girl and she has been such a big help to me while Kip has been gone to the Academy! :)

Welcome to the Life of a Deputy Wife

 

I walked into our dining room the other day to see this....uniforms hanging in my dining room. This is definitely a first for me. There is usually random stuff all over my kitchen and living room...like boots, a gun, ammo, duty belt and everything that might be on the duty belt, holsters, etc. But I never expected to see uniforms hanging in my dining room. Gotta love this life! :)

RANT

BEWARE: This post is going to be one big ol rant. If you are not interested in reading my rant, you may leave now. You have been warned.

The other morning I was scrolling through Facebook and  I came across an article about a man who shot at officers during a no-knock search warrant being acquitted (not charged in the case). You can read the article here. Now I have mixed emotions about this case. He says he thought they were intruders and fired shots before they identified themselves as police officers. Once they identified themselves, he put his gun down and apologized. Now I do not think that he should have been charged if what he said was actually true. But then again, if it were my husband who was shot at, I might feel differently. Anyway...this post is not about the article but about the comments made regarding the article.

 

I read through probably hundreds of comments just like most of these. There were VERY few (maybe 3 or 4) that actually weren't negative about the officers. It just really hit hard that people would make comments such as "I hope he actually shot at least one officer. They deserve it...." Wow. Really? What if that was your husband or wife? You probably wouldn't be saying that. The other one that really hit me hard was "Time to start shooting back at the bastards." REALLY??? Seriously?? Wow....I have NO words. Some of the other comments I saw were way too harsh and vulgar to even post on here. The whole time I am reading these (why do I even do that to myself?? HaHa!) I cannot help but want to post back, "DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE OFFICERS? NO. THEY HAVE FAMILIES, FRIENDS, LOVED ONES....THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO!!! WHAT IF SOMEONE SAID HATEFUL THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY? WHAT IF SOMEONE SAID THEY WISHED THAT A FAMILY MEMBER OF YOURS WOULD GET SHOT?" (Yes, it is all caps because I would be yelling at them.) 

I cannot help but think of the "Don't like police officers? Well next time you are in trouble, call a crackhead." quote.  This is really the only job where you are hated for what you do...and 90% of the job is helping people and protecting people. And yes, I completely understand that there are a few bad apples out there that are in law enforcement...trust me, I have encountered a few of them. But not all are that way. 95% of police officers are there to PROTECT and SERVE. They are SERVANTS, not power-hungry men and women. When you are running away from trouble and danger, they are running TO it. They risk their lives EVERY TIME they put on that uniform, get in that car, and drive away from their families. This is one of very few jobs that when I send my husband to work, there is a chance that he may not make it home. There is a chance that I will get a knock at the door and it will be the sheriff or chief telling me what a wonderful man my husband was and that he laid his life down for his brothers and the community.  It is very difficult for me to hear and watch and read the negative things people say about officers. Sometimes, I cry when I read things like this....others I get red in the face ready to attack, but I remind myself that these are people who have probably had one too many run-ins with officers, may have spent many days, weeks, months, years, in jail for committing a crime.  These are people who have NO respect for authority. I hate that the majority of the people "hate" my husband (and his brothers and sisters in blue) for what he does daily.  Honestly, most officers hate writing tickets and arresting people. Hubs says all the time that he doesn't want to write tickets, make an arrest, or anything like that....unless he is doing it to protect someone. Most officers are that way. They aren't wanting to "harass" innocent people. They are wanting to get the "bad guys" off the streets that are harming others, whether it be drug dealers, child abusers, rapists, murderers, drunk drivers, etc. These are the people who more than likely "hate" my husband and every other police officer. These are the people who can harm others and even themselves. 

It is hard being married to a law enforcement officer. The crazy schedules, late nights, lonely holidays, etc. That is hard. But what is even worse is the fear that my husband may not come home, because of one of these people who are harming others. Remember that that next time you want to say negative things about police officers.  They are people too...just like you!

10 Reasons to Marry a Police Officer

1. THE UNIFORM! Because admit it, a man in uniform is just plain sexy.

2. You will have a body guard wherever you go.

3. He can multitask like a pro.

4. He can stay calm in intense situations.

5. He has a big heart, because he PICKED a job that requires helping people.

6. He tells you all the places in the city to avoid.

7. His work stories are NEVER boring!

8. He is a problem solver and can deal with people.

9. He is a skilled driver.

10. He carries a gun! And teaches you how to use one!

A Police Wife (By: Ashley Hoppa)

I don't wear a uniform.

I don't have a badge.

I have never been sworn in.

Nor have taken an oath with raised right hand.

My thin blue line is different indeed.

The thin blue line I walk is from behind the scenes.

I stand behind you, so proud and true.

For you are a member of an elite few.

You have sworn to do a duty.

To uphold the law.

To honor, serve, and protect. That is your call.

While the burden you bear is great, 

Mine is nonetheless.

We both carry a very heavy weight.

With hugs and kisses, I smile and say,

Have a good night, all the while hiding my silent fright. 

For every day at 10-41, my burden has yet again begun. 

My goes with you, and all your brothers and sisters in blue.

I pray you will return 10-42.

How do you do it? They say. How can you live life that way?

How can you not worry? How can you not fear?

My answer to them is perfectly clear.

Of course I worry, of course I fear. 

Always wondering if end of watch is near. 

But this is my duty, I say. It's just what we do.

You see, I too bleed blue.

I am proud to say that I live this life. 

Because of the man I love, 

I became a police officer's wife.

By: Ashley Hoppa

What is a Police Wife?

A police wife is a woman who is married to a man who is "married" to his job, his partner and his badge. A police wife can usually be found cooking breakfast at midnight, picking up his uniforms at the cleaners and spending nights alone.

A police wife must be a good listener, not questioning him. She must be understanding when doesn't feel like taking her to the movies or has an exam to study for.

A police wife must live with shift work, lonely holidays, bulletproof vests and fixed incomes. She is used to words like rape, robbery, assault and child abuse. She is familiar with night school, stakeouts, overtime and being on her own.

Most women are not born or raised to be a police wife; it is something that they have chosen to do. Some can and others cannot. She will spend each day learning, listening to, and loving a man that few people respect and most others often hate.

A police wife makes beds, breakfasts, and love to a man who spends more time with junkies, hookers, informants, pimps and partners than he does with her. She attends dinners, meetings and sometimes funerals.

A police wife watches the man she loves grow old before his time, watches him become cold and unfeeling, but she will remain his friend, wife, and lover. She will always be these things to him, but she also knows that he will always be first, a police officer.

When a police wife kisses him as he leaves for work, she will make a silent wish that he will return to her. And every time there is a knock at the door, she will pray that it is not the Chief of Police and her husband's partner coming to say kind things about her husband, how brave he was, how dedicated he was.

Being a police wife means lots of trust, love, and worry, but when he says "I love you", it makes it all worthwhile.

(Author Unknown)

Happy Life, Happy Wife

I have been extra happy this week...not really sure what has triggered my extreme happiness, but it has been a pretty good week! Monday night, the BFF and I went shopping.  Last night, the BFF and I went to watch her hubby play softball with the church (this usually makes me sad, because I have watched hubs play in this league for the past 8 years and since he is in the academy, he can't play! SAD!) But I enjoyed being with the BFF and her precious babies! Love me some Baby G and sissygirl! Baby G is 2 1/2 and LOVES his LaLa (that's me!) and the feeling is mutual! And sissygirl is 10 months old....she loves me too, but loves mommy a little more right now! Those babies make me heart happy every time I am around them! LOVE THEM!!

It is also a short work week for me! WHOOP WHOOP! Friday is the 4th of July, so we are closed anyway. My boss told us on Monday that we were just going to close at lunchtime on Thursday to give everyone a head start on their holiday weekend! PLUS for me since we are leaving tomorrow as soon as Kip gets home!! So ready to be on the beach!

So all in all, it has been/will be a good week! Guess that is why I am extra happy today! :)

Another thing that also makes me super happy is this:

 

My June Academy Calendar is COMPLETE!! Over halfway through with this journey! Makes me happy!

I can't stop singing Jamie Grace's song Beautiful Day.l..I am in such a good mood! :)

When trouble seems to rain on my dreams
It's not a big, not a big deal
Let it wash all the bugs off my windshield
Cause You're showing me in You I'm free
And You're still the refuge that I've just got to get to
So I won't let a day won't let a day go by
So put the drop-top down turn it up I'm ready to fly!

And oh there's something 'bout the way
your sun shines on my face
It's a love so true, I can never get enough of you
This feeling can't be wrong!
I'm about to get my worship on
Take me away!
It's a beautiful day.

It's the Little Things...

Guess who put her car tag on all by herself? Yep....that's right...this girl! I realized today was the last day of June and I still haven't put my new car tag on....I have had it for weeks, but just been forgetting to get hubs to put it on...so I attempted it today. And I did it! It's the little things! :)

I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes at the fact that I have never put a car tag on, but I haven't. My dad or hubs always did it for me. So I feel pretty accomplished! It was super easy (just 2 screws) and now I don't have to ask my dad to help since hubs isn't gonna be home til Thursday!

I am learning more and more how independent I am! That is a god thing I guess! I have always relied on men to do the "manly" things, like putting the trash out. But since hubs has been gone most days for the past 7 weeks, then it have had to learn to do certain things. Nothing huge, but things I am not used to doing. And I will admit, I forget to put the trash out sometimes on Wednesdays! Ooops! At least we have a huge trash can and not a whole lot of trash!

Normal

People take "normal" for granted all the time. I know I did, before our "normal" became a new "normal" that I despise! That new normal being the police academy. Every Sunday as hubs is getting prepared to leave for the week, I cannot help but think over and over, "I would appreciate normal so much more if we can just have it back." This week is difficult, because we are leaving for the beach when hubs gets done Thursday evening. Sounds great right? Well...it will be great, for the first few days. We are leaving Thursday and hubs will have to come back home Sunday....for another week at the academy. I, on the other hand, will be staying at the beach until the next Saturday. I know what most people are probably thinking...oh great, she's complaining about being at the beach for 9 whole days. But...this will be the first year in MANY that He has not gone with me. He will be there for a few days...yes. But not the whole time. It just kind of makes me sad! While I am super excited and ready for a vacation, I still wish hubs could be there for the whole thing! Remember my old normal? I guess I have a problem with change! Change is hard, change is difficult, change is NOT FUN sometimes. But change can also be a good thing. This change, however, has been extremely difficult for us. But let's look at the positives:

1. Hubs has a job! With benefits! And extremely good benefits at that!
2. This experience has brought us closer together! We appreciate being around each other so much more, since we don't see each other but 3 days a week!
3. We have learned to be better communicators.
4. I have gotten over my separation anxiety (ha!) and I appreciate having "me" time now!
5. THE UNIFORM! Who doesn't love a man in uniform??

I absolutely LOVE being married to a deputy sheriff. I know this is just a season in our lives that we will look back on and wish we were there again...and this is a season that is almost over! 24 (classroom) days left! We started out with 55 days...and now we are at 24! These next 6 weeks will fly by and I will be the most proud wife at the whole graduation! I will have the biggest smile on my face and may even cry a little bit! (I'm super emotional by the way..so I may cry a lot.) looking forward to the August 7th when my hubs becomes a certified law enforcement officer. And this journey to be OVER! We can start a new (much better) normal!

Halfway Through

We are halfway through with the academy!! Thank you Jesus! This has been the hardest thing I think I we have ever had to go through!  Being together for 8 years, seeing each other almost every day for the majority of those 8 years, married for 3 months, then apart for 13 weeks could drive anyone crazy!  (Well not really 13 full weeks, but 4 days out of each week). I made a calendar the day Kip left so I could mark off each day to see how close we were to the finish! Today, I realized that June is ALMOST over…a full month down (a month and half really)! It really seems like yesterday we were preparing for him to head off for the first 10 days, and now we are halfway finished! Oh so thankful that time has flown by!

One of the hardest struggles for me is when he leaves on Sunday. Our weekend seems to FLY by, and I hate saying goodbye to him! I still cry a little when he leaves, but get ok after a few minutes!  I try to have something planned to do once he leaves, whether it is going to the grocery store, walking with my parents, cleaning up around the house, or watching one of my shows that he doesn’t like to watch (19 Kids and Counting or the Bachelorette--he really likes to watch them, but he pretends he doesn't).  I try to stay busy during the week as well..makes the week go by so much quicker! 

I think one of the hardest struggles for Kip is leaving as well….because I am usually upset. He tells me he hates to see me upset when he leaves!  I always talk about how hard it is for me with him being gone and everything, but I cannot imagine if I was in his shoes.  He has to be up before the sun is even up for PT (running, pushups, situps, calisthenics, etc.), then he has class ALL day from about 8am – 6pm, then supper until about 7pm.  They only have a few hours at night to get things together for the next day, study, talk to family, and have a little bit of free time. They cannot go anywhere….just stuck in their rooms until the next morning. At least I still have my somewhat “normal” life...I can go where I want, do what I want, eat what I want, etc.

Speaking of class and studying, last weekend, Kip was really stressing about his legals exam. It was a 100 question test that he HAD to pass with at least a 70% or he failed out of the academy.  We studied all weekend, and I even learned the difference between robbery, burglary, and theft and all the degrees (1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd).  His test was last Tuesday morning…and he passed…with a 93! So happy for him..I KNEW he could do it!!! Now all he has left to do is pass firearms (piece of cake for him!) and driving. The hardest and most stressful part of this long 13 weeks is over!

We were going to celebrate with a big ole steak from Longhorn this weekend, but instead…he bought a new gun. And bought me one too. So our celebrating was at the shooting range!

I am so thankful for my hardworking husband…just ready for this whole academy thing to end and we can get back to some kind of "normal".

5 Reasons

5 Reasons I Love Being Married to a Deputy

1. The uniform!! Love seeing him in his uniform!!

2. The feeling of safe-ness (is that a word??) I always feel safe when he is around... No matter where we are!

3. The fact that he knows other police officers...just in case I ever need out of a ticket or anything else! ;) *insert story here* The other day, I was heading to see kip in Anniston when he calls and says that our burglary alarm was going off. So I call my dad to come meet the officers at our house. The officers get here and realize its a deputy's house...so maybe they will keep an eye on the house while Kip is gone!

4. He taught me how to safely use a gun! (and bought me one!!!)

5. The fact that he risks his life to keep our community safe just makes my heart smile!

10 Things

10 things that I have learned about being a police wife.

1. Everywhere you go, your husband will see someone he knows. And when you ask who that is, he will say "oh that's so and so...he works for -insert city name here-".

2. Guns, ammo, or tactical gear will ALWAYS be an acceptable gift.

3. No matter where we go, he will always have his pistol on his hip.

4. I always ask if he has his pistol before we leave the house...I should know that answer, but I always make sure!

5. If we ever go out anywhere, we always end up at the gun counter of Bass pro shop, Gander Mountain, or Academy.

6. I can spot a police car from miles away....especially unmarked cars.

7. I am more aware of my surroundings every where I go....especially if I am alone.

8. There is no such thing as normal. We will never have a "normal" life. I will go to parties, family events, church events, holidays, etc. alone sometimes, because police work is 24/7. I will sleep alone at night when he is working. I will make dinner and eat alone, because he had to go on a call at 5:55pm...5 minutes before his shift is over. He will work on his off day, because the department is short handed. There is no normal in police work. You just have to learn to go with the flow.

9. I have learned how to polish boots and make razor sharp creases on Kip's uniform.

10. And most importantly, I have learned that I have never been more proud to see him dressed to a T in his uniform.....or see his car pulling into the driveway after a day at work (or a week at the academy). It makes my heart skip a beat and makes me so proud to be able to call him mine!

Just Some Thoughts

Sundays are the hardest days...it is the day Kip leaves for a week. Every Sunday I have to say goodbye to him for 4 days. It may not seem like a big deal to others, but if you had to say goodbye to your husband every Sunday for the next 13 weeks...you would understand.

I cannot even begin to express how ready I am for "normal" again. I miss our Sundays of going to church, spending time with our families, and then cuddling up on the couch for an afternoon of relaxation before we head into the next work week. Our Sundays now consist of going to church, rushing to eat with our families, and coming home to finish up laundry, pack, gas up the patrol car, make a trip to Walmart for waters, Gatorade, crackers, and snacks for Kip to take with him. By the time we finish all of this, we may have about 30 mins to sit and relax until he has to leave.

In the life of a police family, normal is not a Monday-Friday 8am-5pm job with weekends off. You have to find your "normal" between changing schedules, overtime, etc. Sometimes, your weekend is in the middle of the week....This is one reason I would absolutely love to have a "work from home" job...so I can be home when Kip has off days. While I am sure that will NEVER happen, I can dream right? Hopefully, I can eventually get a job at a school, where I can have summers off...and if Kip gets an SRO position, he will have summers off too! The perfect world, right?

5 Weeks In

We are now 5 weeks into this whole academy journey. Not gonna lie...it has been super difficult..for both of us! Not sure how other police academies work, but this one is a full time resident academy...on a military base! Kip leaves on Sunday nights and doesn't come home until Thursday nights. He is only home on Friday and Saturday and part of the day Sunday. For 13 weeks. I absolutely hate it. Seriously...HATE. But I have learned a whole lot in these past 5 weeks that I wanna share with the other LEO wives out there who might be new to this as well!

1. Keep Yourself Busy! Unless you are someone who enjoys being alone, I would suggest you make lots of plans! I work a full time job, so Monday - Friday I stay pretty busy...but that first 2 weeks that Kip was gone I was a mess (He was gone for 10 days straight - no coming home at all!). I thought I could handle being by myself...working around the house...playing with the dog...just doing whatever I wanted to do. Nope. Did not enjoy one bit of it. The Monday he left, I cried all night long. I couldn't do anything without thinking of him being gone. That Tuesday, my best friend invited me to come to one of her student's baseball game. I went with her and her 2 kids and enjoyed myself! Wednesday night I had a meeting at work, but then Thursday..oh Thursday. It was a ROUGH day! I was just so depressed and sad all day! I guess I was just really missing my hubby. Then the weekend FLEW by! Helped my mom out at my brother's basketball tournament Friday and Saturday.  Sunday, Mom helped me clean my house, then we spent the evening at my aunt's house. The next few days flew by & then - Wednesday came and KIP WAS HOME!! Now, every Monday night - Wednesday night I try to stay busy - whether it is going to my best friend's house and spending time with her and her kids, hanging out with my parents and my family, or just doing something on my own (lots of shopping and going to the tanning bed...maybe cleaning a little....and watching 19 kids and Counting - obsessed with that show!). It gets easier each day! Only 8 more weeks!

2. Communicate!! It was hard on me at first, because if something happened that I wanted to tell Kip about that couldn't wait until we got home in the evenings, I would usually just call of text him! If I just wanted to talk to him or he wanted to talk to me, we could just call each other. Not the case with the academy! He cannot have his cell phone with him at all during the day. It has to stay in his room, so I only get to talk to him for about 30 seconds each morning (just to say hey and have a good day) and then at night once he gets back to his room (around 7:30 or 8pm).  I will text him occasionally during the day to tell him something if I need to, but I know I wont get a response back.  So at night, we do most of our communicating. It is hard to do that sometimes, because he has a roommate at the academy, so there isn't any alone time.  We talk mostly through text messages, because it is easier that way. But just remember to communicate with each other while he is gone!

3. Encourage Him! Always be encouraging when you talk to him. Send him little messages of encouragement throughout the day. I try to be so positive when I talk to Kip, because what is doing is HARD work. He is stressed, hates leaving home, hates being away from me, having to deal with people yelling at him, doing tons of push-ups, pulling 13-14 hour days, getting very little sleep, constantly having to study on his "off" time. I try to be positive and encouraging...and I tried to not let me see my upset (that first 10 days he was gone) because he says it makes it even harder on him knowing I am upset. Don't complain about every little thing that happened to you during the day when you talk to him at night....talk about positive things. Let him know how proud you are of him and how you have faith in him that he can get through this! It will help both of you!

4. Make Time for Each Other When He is Home! When Kip comes home each week, he unloads all his stuff and gives me a PILE of dirty clothes that I have to wash within 2 days, so he can pack up again.  I spend a lot of time washing clothes on the weekends...but at least he is HOME. He had a short weekend a few weeks ago. He got Memorial Day off, so he had to make that day up on Friday of that week. He didn't get home until late Friday evening and as soon as he got home, we headed to a friend's house. We spent the majority of the night there, came home, and he we went straight to sleep.  The next day, his parents came and brought a car load of his stuff from their house, so we unloaded all that, got showers really quick and headed to Birmingham to watch my brother play basketball and eat supper with my parents. Headed back home and then some friends came to our house that night. Then Kip left Sunday for the week....and I was awful!! So...make time for each other. I am not saying not to hang out with friends and family, but make sure you have that one on one time with each other at some point while he is home.

5. PRAY!! This is a BIG one....pray for him, pray for you, pray for the instructors teaching the classes, pray for all of his classmates, and pray for his department.  Right now, Kip doesn't really know what he will be doing once he graduates from the academy.  He may work on the road, work as an SRO, work in the office....we really don't know, so I am praying that God will put him where he wants him to be...whether it be a school, on the road (hopefully not!), in the office, wherever!

It is not easy being a part of the LEO family...but that is what it is - A FAMILY! Very few people know what it is like to send your husband off to work, unsure of whether he will return to you after his shift.  LEO's encounter things that most of us could not even imagine seeing and encountering, so ALWAYS pray for your LEO, his/her partner and department. Hug him/her a little tighter and kiss him/her a little longer each time he/she leaves.  You never know when it may be your last hug, kiss, "see ya later", or "I love you!".

The Deputy Wife Life

I started a blog back in college for extra credit in one of my business classes, and I kept it up through the whole wedding process just for me to look back on.  I wanted to start a new one for this new journey we are in right now.

Kip and I have been married for 4 months, but we have been together for over 8 years. He began his LEO journey 3 years ago in 2011 when he became a member of the sheriff's office reserve unit. It was strictly a "volunteer" job, which means he did not get paid for working. I struggled with that a little bit at first, but realized that it took someone very special to work a job like that and not get paid for it. He mainly worked security for special events in the county and occasionally worked with a friend of his who is an investigator at the county. He was working his actual money making job as a pharmacy tech at the time. He moved on to one of the city police departments working in the records department just to get him by until he graduated college. This job was considered a seasonal position, so he had to take 1 whole month off without pay each year. It worked out good for us that he took his month in February, so he was able to be off the few days before our wedding and then for our honeymoon. He was also able to be home and help train our new puppy during that month, too. But...we knew we would not be able to afford for him to continue to work there with no benefits. (I do not have benefits at my job either!) He had applied for a job at the county as an SRO (school resource officer) but could not take the job, because he would have to go to the academy in January - April which would interfere with our wedding (and mostly honeymoon) plans.

The week of our wedding, Kip got a text from someone at the SO that another SRO position would be open soon and that they wanted Kip to come back and talk to them again. He went 2 days before our wedding for an "interview". They said they had a few more people to interview and it may be next week before Kip heard anything. He told them he would be on his honeymoon, but if they called to leave a message and he would call them back. (We had a no cell phone policy on our honeymoon-haha!) I told him I would let that one slide if he needed to call them! Honeymoon week came and went with no phone call. The next week came and went...no phone call either....until that Friday night (Feb 21). Chief text Kip and asked if he would come in Monday to talk. We spent all weekend wondering what would happen in that meeting Monday.

Kip went in Monday morning at 9am. He showed up at my office about 9:30....and said he got the job! He would be training in the office until he went to the academy in May. He worked a Monday-Friday 8:00-4:00 shift. It wasn't until late April that he started working a little bit different shift. A tornado came through a small portion of our county, so Kip worked in that area everyday. At first he was working 8:00-4:00, but then it changed at 6:00am-2:00pm. Until he was put on an actual shift to ride his last 2 days before the academy....he worked 2 days 6am-6pm. That was it for working with the SO until August. He headed to the academy May 12th...one of he he hardest days of my life!

Until Next Time,