Ferguson Tragedy

Last night, hubs and I were glued to the tv watching the announcement of whether Officer Wilson would be indicted in the shooting death of Mike Brown. The verdict came back that he would not be indicted on any count of murder, manslaughter, etc. Riots broke out in the streets of Ferguson. People were destroying cars and buildings, breaking out windows and setting them on fire. My heart sank watching it all unfold. I am a bit partial to law enforcement since my husband is a LEO, but it is because I see what these people and their families go through day after day. My husband, like all law enforcement officers, has been TRAINED to take whatever precautions needed to come home safe after each shift. While I hope he NEVER has to take someone else's life, if it means he comes home safe to me, then so be it. If someone is threatening him or his fellow officers, whether armed or not, I hope they all take every precaution they can so they all come home safe. I have always said that people who HATE law enforcement are those who break the law, so if you don't want a run in with the law, then obey the laws. I honestly do not think this is a race issue of a white male "profiling" a black male. What if Mike Brown had been a white male?? Would all this be going on right now?? No...not at all. Nobody would think twice about it. This is more of a lack of respect for authority. I saw this last night on one of the social media outlets after the verdict was read: "Not all cops are bad, not all blacks are criminals, and not all whites are racist." This is probably the most true statement I have ever heard. I have many black friends, who are far from a criminal!! I know many cops who are not even close to being a bad cop! And I know VERY few, if any, white people that are racist. I honestly do not think Officer Wilson was profiling. He was doing his job. He asked Mike Brown to get out of the street and onto the sidewalk. If Mike Brown had done what he was asked, he would still be alive, and Officer Wilson would still be patrolling the streets of Ferguson. But no. Mike Brown decided to NOT have any respect for authority. That is the issue here, not racism. 

The bible states that EVERYONE should respect authority....whether it's the police, mayor, governor, and yes-even the president. Romans 13:1-4 states that: 

"Everyone must submit to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except from God,and those that exist are instituted by God." This means that God is the overall authority. He has appointed certain people (and by people here, I am talking about a position, not the actual person) such as, the president, governors, mayors, and yes, even police officers, to help govern his land.  Therefore, we should submit to these governing authorities, even if we do not agree with what they are doing.

"So then, the one who resists the authority is opposing God’s command, and those who oppose it will bring judgment on themselves."

This verse is talking about law breakers, criminals, etc. When you do break the law, you bring judgement upon yourself. Let's say you go out for a night of drinking, drink a little too much, then get in your car and drive off. You get pulled over by a police officer, who can smell the alcohol on your breath. He makes you do a series of field sobriety tests and you fail every one of them. He then takes you to jail on a DUI charge. Who's fault is that? Is it the officer's fault for pulling you over? NOT AT ALL! It is your fault for driving a car after drinking too much. Therefore, you have brought that judgement on yourself....because YOU broke the law. No one else did it for you. 

"For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have its approval."

This verse is talking about those who obey the laws. Like I have said over and over, obey the laws and you won't have any issues with the law. Do you want to live in fear of LEOs? I know I don't! If you don't want to live in fear, obey the laws. It's that simple. 

"For government is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, because it does not carry the sword for no reason. For government is God’s servant, an avenger that brings wrath on the one who does wrong."

This verse is talking about the police officers. They are here to protect us, not to cause us fear. However, if you break the laws, then you should fear the law. I believe that the "sword" being mentioned here, refers to the police officer's weapon. He does not carry the weapon for no reason. He carries the weapon to protect himself and his fellow officers. Police officers are God's servants. They are put on this earth to enforce the laws. They are here to bring wrath on those who break the laws. The word wrath in the bible means "the emotional response to perceived wrong and injustice; vengeance or punishment". So basically, this is saying that if you break the law, you will be punished.

It doesn't get much more clear than that does it? Respect authority and they will respect you! Don't break the laws of the land, or you will be punished. 

I think this passage of scripture is perfect for the Ferguson tragedy. 

My husband shared something on Facebook this morning that I think EVERYONE should read. I do not know who the author is, but it did not write this. I just want to share.

"For those of you that want to judge and condemn our nation’s law-enforcement officers, I invite you to put on a bulletproof vest and strap a gun to your side each day. There are many law-enforcement agencies that will hire you to protect the rights of those that hate you for a starting salary of $12 per hour. If you get lucky, after 14 years of being a teacher, a negotiator, a counselor, an enforcer of our nation’s laws, a medic, a first responder, a peacekeeper, and a jack-of-all-trades, maybe you can break the $15 per hour mark. Don’t be fooled. The bulletproof vest that you will wear is meant to keep you alive because eventually, someone will try to kill you. The gun that you will carry will be a constant reminder to you that someone will try to harm you, and you might have to take the life of another individual in order to live through your shift. It’s okay though. No matter what kind of circumstance you find yourself in, you will have an ample amount of time (less than a second) to make the right decision, a decision that will determine if you live or die. I invite you. You will stand guard, protecting those that curse you when they don’t need you, and they will curse you when they are in need because you did not get to them fast enough. I invite you. You will work two and three jobs to support your family, never having the opportunity to enjoy your days off because you will be working or sitting in a courtroom. I invite you. You will miss birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, and holiday events because it is your job to watch over those that are oblivious to what really happens in the world. I invite you. The job will take everything from you, causing you to never look at the world in the same light again. I invite you. After all, even if you are killed, you knew what you were signing up for. Right? Once again, I invite you to take that risk. Surely, you can do better than those that currently stand ready in the night to keep others safe. I invite you. You know so much, and you have seen everything there is to know on television. You’ve watched CSI, NYPD, Cops, and other various programs, and you know how things should be done. I invite you. Why can’t those that serve get it right? It’s not that hard, and it only takes a little bit of common sense. Right? I invite you. I invite you to do better. I invite you to stare into the face of pure evil, witnessing things that have the ability to make you question your sanity. I invite you to become part of the small percentage of Americans that serve their communities even though they are disgraced and neglected by the majority of those that they serve. I invite you to stare into the eyes of death, only later to be mystified as to how you survived. I invite you to experience the feeling of calm as it turns into pure panic. I invite you to give everything while receiving nothing but your incredibly lavish salary in return. And worst of all, I invite you to make the decision as to whether or not you will have to take the life of another human being in order to survive. Until you have experienced a life of service, until you willingly place yourself in life or death situations, until you are cursed and hated, until you have experienced the feeling of not knowing if you will ever see your family again, until you become part of the small percentage of people that run towards gunfire instead of away from it, until you see the unimaginable horrors of the world that even Hollywood is unable to portray, until you are faced with the decision of whether or not you should take the life of another individual, and until you patrol the streets of your community, seeking out danger, don’t be a judge. Don’t judge those that serve until you understand what they are up against on a daily basis. Only with an understanding of all of the facts can you make an accurate assumption of what should have or could have been done. Do you truly want to understand? Do you truly want to be able to judge them? I invite you to strap on a bulletproof vest and a gun. I invite you to be the coward that hides behind his or her badge."

Single Digits

We are down to single digits in the academy journey! 9 classroom days left until Graduation!! And 2 weeks from today, hubs will come home to me FOR GOOD! Oh I am so extremely excited!!

Last night, hubs and his group got liberty, meaning they had "free time" for about 2 hours. So what do I do? Hop in the car and drive about 45 minutes to meet hubs and his roommate to eat at Olive Garden!  Hub's roommate had his girlfriend come down to eat as well, so I got to meet both of them! I could definitely see us hanging out with them after the academy is over.

August 7th cannot get here SOON enough! Seriously...I probably will not be able to sleep that whole week! I am so proud of my hubs and how hard he has worked!  He will get a little vacation when he gets out of the academy, because he has to have knee surgery! BOO! But at least I get to spend ALL my time with him for a few days after surgery! It is really just a minor surgery, so he should only be down for about 5 days. He is gonna be a big baby for sure those 5 days! But it's ok...I'll be the best nurse ever! :)

An Officer's Life

You wonder why he pulled you over and gave you a ticket for speeding,
He just worked an accident where people died because they were going too fast.
 
You wonder why that cop was so mean,
He just got done working a case where a drunk driver killed a kid.

You work for 8 hours,
He works for up to 18 hours.

You drink hot coffee to stay awake,
The cold rain in the middle of the night keeps him awake.

You complain of a "headache," and call in sick,
He goes into work still hurt and sore from the guy he had to fight the night before.

You drink your coffee on your way to the mall,
He spills his as he runs Code 3 to a traffic crash with kids trapped inside.

You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket before you leave the house,
He makes sure his gun is fully loaded and his vest is tight.

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you,
He watches his buddy get shot at and wounded in front of him.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls,
He walks down the highway looking for body parts from a traffic crash.

You complain about how hot it is,
He wears fifty pounds of gear and a bullet proof vest in July and still runs around chasing crack heads.

You go out to lunch and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong,
He runs out before he gets his food to respond to an armed robbery.

You get out of bed in the morning and take your time getting ready,
He gets called out of bed at 2 am after working 12 hours and has to be into work A.S.A.P. for a homicide.

You go to the mall and get your hair done,
He holds the hair of some college girl while shes puking in the back of his patrol car.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over,
His shift ended 4 hours ago and there's no end in sight.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight,
He can't make any plans because on his off days he still gets called back into work.

You yell and scream at the squad car that just passed you because they slowed you down,
He's in the driver seat of the squad car, going to cut somebody out of their car.

You roll your eyes when a baby cries in public,
He picks up a dead child in his arms and wishes that it was crying.

You criticize your police department and say they're never there quick enough,
He blasts the siren while the person in front of him refuses to move while talking on their cell phone.

You hear the jokes about fallen officers and say they should have known better or deserve it,
He is a hero and runs into situations when everyone else is running away in order to make sure no one else gets hurt and risks his life doing it.

You are asked to go to the store by your parents, you don't,
He would take a bullet for his buddy without question.

You sit there and judge him, saying that it's a waste of money to have them around,
Yet as soon as you need help he is there.

(Author Unknown)

"To My Future Daughter-in-Law" from The Domestic Four.

NOTE: This is not mine. I just want to have it if God does bless us with a son one day, and I want it to be a reminder for me RIGHT NOW as I am just now entering the life of a wife and daughter-in-law.

Click HERE for the link to the actual blog.

Dear Future Daughter-in-Law,

As I write this letter your future husband is all sprawled out on the couch watching his older sister torment the dogs. It is so strange to refer to him as “your husband” considering he is so small and still so innocent. But he is yours and you are his. Right now God knows exactly where you are. Maybe you are being held by your mother as she tries to soothe you to sleep. Perhaps you too are laying on the couch watching an older sibling torment your dogs. Or maybe my son will like older women and you are five years old and enjoying a Saturday afternoon at the park. I can’t picture you. I have no idea what type of girl you are or will be, but God has that planned out. As your future father-in-law frequently tells me, “That’s above my paygrade.” I don’t try to figure out the Divine … you know … that whole human, limited understanding factor really fudges things up.

I am sure you will hear this from me many times, but your husband and I didn’t have the easiest start. Five hours of insanely quick and painful labor started us off. Followed by roughly two months of him screaming bloody murder. Everyone had suggestions to fix him. Try this or try that they would say. Yet none of them felt the terrible, awful feeling of defeat that one night I laid him on his father’s chest and then went into our bathroom and sobbed on the floor for 30 minutes. I cried, and cried, and cried harder. The only thing I knew to do was to pray and ask God to show me what to do. Or to give me some form of strength that I didn’t have within me. Time would pass and I would stick to my gut and belief that he would “grow out of it” and he did. He is currently a very fat, very happy 3 month old. A 3 month old, mind you, who sleeps 9 hours straight. No more middle of the night crying fests in the bathroom for me.

The night I had Eli I sat in my delivery room waiting on my body to figure itself out so I could be transported to recovery. I decided it was a perfect time to write in my prayer journal. He nursed, his dad slept, and I sat there and wrote about my day. In that moment I started to pray a prayer that I would find myself praying each day for my son. “Lord, make him a man among men. A leader among leaders. Make him strong, resilient, brave, loving, and humble. Make him a good man in a storm.” Each night after his bath I hold him and we get a few minutes after his sister goes to bed and before his father comes home. I pace with him and make him smile, and then I pray … Lord make him a man among men …

You see, over the past few years there have been a few blogposts I have read written by women who have sons. (Do you even know what those are? Or are they like the 8-tracks of 2038?) They contain lists and “warnings” for future wives or girlfriends of their sons. These lists or letters make my heart hurt in a very, very deep way. They rip open a still healing wound. They bring a flood of pain. You see, I’ve been where you are. I’ve sat in your position wondering how you can make your new family like you a little better, or wondering if they will ever like you at all. I’ve felt the rush of nerves as you prepare to meet your new in laws. I’ve felt every moment you are experiencing. By writing this I want to help calm your nerves. I want you to know that I’m on your side because you are an important piece to the puzzle.

I spent 9 months growing your husband. Waddling around the remaining few weeks of it. People asking me how long I have to go and then making a pity face when they found out I was only 37 weeks. Another few months getting to know him and work through our “issues.” I’ll spend the next 18 years going through the ups and downs. The hills and valleys. I will drive him to practice after practice. I will have to explain to him why he can’t pee anywhere but in a toilet or our backyard. I’ll have to teach him how to actually bathe himself to ensure he is clean and not his version of clean. I will have to punish him when he tortures his sister or does something stupid. I will most likely sit through a million and a half (rough estimate) innings of baseball and quarters of football. When he is ready to talk to me about the girl in high school who hurt his heart I will have to lovingly listen and explain that sometimes we ladies don’t know how hurtful we can be. I will share the story of how I hurt his father a few times in high school, but he was forgiving and stayed my best friend through thick and thin. I will prepare him for you – as best as possible.

I am not disillusioned on what my responsibility as a mother holds. I’m responsible for raising a son to hear of the Gospel in the hopes that he will turn around and teach it to nations. I am responsible for raising a son to not only wipe his own butt, but to do it well! I am responsible for teaching my son to love others and serve others as best as possible. I am responsible for teaching him to respect those around him. I am responsible for raising a son who will grow into a man who will love one woman and raise children to carry on his legacy. I am responsible for laying the foundation. I will hold his past, and with you comes his future.

When you meet me you will clutch to his hand like it is your life support. You will worry and stress about what you wear and how your hair will look. You’ll be afraid to speak up and you will want to crawl in a hole and die before you “meet the in laws.” Can I share a little secret for you?

I’m looking forward to meeting you. And I pray for you even today.

Do you know how important you are to my son? How vital you are to his trajectory in life? I don’t look at you and see a uterus with a head attached and your whole purpose in life is to give me grandbabies. I look at you as the missing piece to the puzzle. You see, I’m going to admit something to you, moms don’t have it all figured out. And we don’t raise complete children. Other people come into our children’s lives and maybe they rough up some edges, or maybe they soften them. Experiences and people change who our children grow to be. Am I afraid you could hurt him? Absolutely. But I am no more afraid than I am of a man coming into my daughter’s life and hurting her. I’ve been on both sides of that coin – as one to hurt and one to be hurt. I can’t buffer them though. I can’t follow them around and protect them from the pain they will experience. Will it kill me to see them suffer? Without a doubt. But I can’t stop it. I can’t intervene where God intends to work. 

I pray that you are a woman among women. I pray that you are classy and humble. I pray that you have a servant’s heart. I pray that you know the Lord deeply and profoundly. I pray that you are a good woman in a storm. I pray that you love yourself and are confident in who you are so that you have a happy, wonderful, and beautiful marriage with my son.

You are a piece in the puzzle. A very important piece.
You will make him a better man.
You will make him stronger.
You will make him feel things he’s never felt before.
You will heighten the urge to protect within him.
You will show him a softer side of Jesus.
You will show him mercy.
You will teach him grace.
You will love him at his worst.
You will love him at his best.
You will give him the gift of children.
You will show him how to be a great father by being a great mother.
You will cook for him.
You will clean for him.
You will move mountains for him.
You will be an immovable rock in a constantly shifting world.
You will be his best friend.
You will hold him.
You will stand behind him.
You will stand beside him.
You will challenge him.
You will push him.
You will pull him.
You will teach him intimacy.
You will love him; unconditionally.

And one day my son will stand next to me as I wait for the Lord to call me home. As I feel the pull and I begin to slip, he will feel pain. He will stand over my hollow shell and know that I am with the Lord, but he will suffer. I am his mother. I am the woman who gave birth to him and taught him how to throw a perfect spiral while his dad was deployed to a warzone. I am the woman who kissed the booboos and made the perfect chocolate chip cookies. (Don’t worry … it’s on the back of the Tollhouse bag.) I showed him how to respect girls and how to tie his shoes. I taught him his ABCs and how to count to 100. I hold everything about his past.

But, my dear girl, you hold his future.

You will experience life together. You will be his partner through it all. You will be his best friend.

Do not fear me. Do not think that I do not cherish you. I love you. I love what you mean to my son. I love that God brought you into our lives to make him a better man. To do the things I never could as a mother.

So today as your husband looks up at me and smiles and coos, I will think of you. I will pray for you. And I will do my best by you to raise a man among men. A leader among leaders. And to help him be strong, resilient, brave, loving, and humble. A good man in a storm.

Love,

Your Future Mother-in-Law

Our Daughter

Hubs and I became parents just a little over a week after we got married. We did not physically have a child, but we got a puppy. And let me tell you.....puppies are a lot like having a child. I don't care what you say about it...they are. We first got her the 2 days after we came back from our honeymoon. She is a German Shepherd...an all black German Shepherd with 1 white spot.

 

As you can see, we had to get a "thin blue line" collar for her! :)

She weighed about 10 pounds when we got her. She was a feisty little thing, but she LOVED us the minute we brought her home! She loved playing outside in the yard with us and sleeping on the couch right next to us! We carried her for her  first appointment at the vet a few weeks later and she weighed 19 pounds! She had 1 floppy ear that came up just a few days after we got her.

We have had quite the experience with her. From peeing all over the place, to only peeing when she is excited or scared, to peeing on my brother, jumping on us and scratching us up so bad, biting at our hands and arms, getting out of the fence, staying at the vet while we were gone on vacation, and getting spayed. 

But...she is getting better! She is more calm now, doesn't pee AS MUCH when she gets excited, only jumps on us when we first come home, only bites when she wants to play. She can sit when told, high five and shake, and she definitely knows what NO means. I love her so much and could not imagine our life without her! When we carried her to get spayed almost 2 weeks ago, she weighed 50 pounds. I love watching her grow and learn new things. 

One of the things that she has started doing is "burying" (or hiding) things around our house. I buy her chew sticks to give her when she comes inside to help her calm down and she will carry it around until she finds somewhere to hide it...usually in the couch. She will "dig" and then push it in between the cushions.  I found a chew stick in my suitcase from the beach too....and I will find them in blankets, pillows, etc. She is so funny to watch though! To watch those wheels turning in her head as she is trying to decide where to hide her chew stick....it is so funny. I love just watching her. 

 Our big girl now!

The difference in a 3 month old pup and a 6 month old pup! :)

We love our girl and she has been such a big help to me while Kip has been gone to the Academy! :)

Welcome to the Life of a Deputy Wife

 

I walked into our dining room the other day to see this....uniforms hanging in my dining room. This is definitely a first for me. There is usually random stuff all over my kitchen and living room...like boots, a gun, ammo, duty belt and everything that might be on the duty belt, holsters, etc. But I never expected to see uniforms hanging in my dining room. Gotta love this life! :)

RANT

BEWARE: This post is going to be one big ol rant. If you are not interested in reading my rant, you may leave now. You have been warned.

The other morning I was scrolling through Facebook and  I came across an article about a man who shot at officers during a no-knock search warrant being acquitted (not charged in the case). You can read the article here. Now I have mixed emotions about this case. He says he thought they were intruders and fired shots before they identified themselves as police officers. Once they identified themselves, he put his gun down and apologized. Now I do not think that he should have been charged if what he said was actually true. But then again, if it were my husband who was shot at, I might feel differently. Anyway...this post is not about the article but about the comments made regarding the article.

 

I read through probably hundreds of comments just like most of these. There were VERY few (maybe 3 or 4) that actually weren't negative about the officers. It just really hit hard that people would make comments such as "I hope he actually shot at least one officer. They deserve it...." Wow. Really? What if that was your husband or wife? You probably wouldn't be saying that. The other one that really hit me hard was "Time to start shooting back at the bastards." REALLY??? Seriously?? Wow....I have NO words. Some of the other comments I saw were way too harsh and vulgar to even post on here. The whole time I am reading these (why do I even do that to myself?? HaHa!) I cannot help but want to post back, "DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE OFFICERS? NO. THEY HAVE FAMILIES, FRIENDS, LOVED ONES....THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO!!! WHAT IF SOMEONE SAID HATEFUL THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY? WHAT IF SOMEONE SAID THEY WISHED THAT A FAMILY MEMBER OF YOURS WOULD GET SHOT?" (Yes, it is all caps because I would be yelling at them.) 

I cannot help but think of the "Don't like police officers? Well next time you are in trouble, call a crackhead." quote.  This is really the only job where you are hated for what you do...and 90% of the job is helping people and protecting people. And yes, I completely understand that there are a few bad apples out there that are in law enforcement...trust me, I have encountered a few of them. But not all are that way. 95% of police officers are there to PROTECT and SERVE. They are SERVANTS, not power-hungry men and women. When you are running away from trouble and danger, they are running TO it. They risk their lives EVERY TIME they put on that uniform, get in that car, and drive away from their families. This is one of very few jobs that when I send my husband to work, there is a chance that he may not make it home. There is a chance that I will get a knock at the door and it will be the sheriff or chief telling me what a wonderful man my husband was and that he laid his life down for his brothers and the community.  It is very difficult for me to hear and watch and read the negative things people say about officers. Sometimes, I cry when I read things like this....others I get red in the face ready to attack, but I remind myself that these are people who have probably had one too many run-ins with officers, may have spent many days, weeks, months, years, in jail for committing a crime.  These are people who have NO respect for authority. I hate that the majority of the people "hate" my husband (and his brothers and sisters in blue) for what he does daily.  Honestly, most officers hate writing tickets and arresting people. Hubs says all the time that he doesn't want to write tickets, make an arrest, or anything like that....unless he is doing it to protect someone. Most officers are that way. They aren't wanting to "harass" innocent people. They are wanting to get the "bad guys" off the streets that are harming others, whether it be drug dealers, child abusers, rapists, murderers, drunk drivers, etc. These are the people who more than likely "hate" my husband and every other police officer. These are the people who can harm others and even themselves. 

It is hard being married to a law enforcement officer. The crazy schedules, late nights, lonely holidays, etc. That is hard. But what is even worse is the fear that my husband may not come home, because of one of these people who are harming others. Remember that that next time you want to say negative things about police officers.  They are people too...just like you!